Change

Change happens.

Life has a way of making it.

There are harsh ways of it happening.

But also gentle.

Though that is rare.

Life gives us cruel wake up calls.

Like when you see a child that hasn't eaten in weeks.

It changes you.

It changes your heart.

It changes how you see the world.

When life changes you you're never the same again.

You come out stronger.

Wiser.

The way you think changes.

The way you feel.

Change happens.

Change happened.

Why do you write?

Has your mind ever felt like a beehive?
Where thoughts around zooming around in your head?
I believe everyone has.
Everyone has different ways of dealing with their 'bees' but mine is this:
Give me a pen.
Give me some paper.
Somewhere between the two lies peace and serenity.
There is my sanctuary.
When the words rush out onto the paper they tell me things I didn't even know.
I learn things and I find things I already knew.
When life doesn't make sense I will go to my sanctuary.
There I find the truth.
When I'm heartbroken or happy or even just bored all I need is a pen and paper.
I believe I have answered your question.
What was again?
"Why do you write"?

Small Town

Small town.
Where everyone knows everyone.
Where the night sky is covered with stars.
Where you can't help but think.
Where you need to be careful for deer.
Where it's easy to have life figured out.
Where crickets are the loudest thing at night.
Where birds wake you up in the morning.
Where time stands still.
Where the best way to complement someone is on their cooking.
Where perfect strangers knew your grandma's old boyfriend.
Where whatever life is waiting for you back home makes perfect since.
In a small town.

Once Upon A Time

Once upon a time.
Those words catch our attention.
They tell us we are getting ready to hear something magical.
Something exciting.
Something romantic.
Something that we will carry with us the rest of our lives.
We'll get to hear about a beautiful princess,
An evil witch,
A charming prince,
And most of all a happy ending.
So here it goes.
Once upon a time...
There was a simple girl who fell deeply in love with a simple boy.
And they lived happily ever after.

Caught Off Guard

I glance your way when suddenly I'm caught off guard
 by the emotions that swell up inside me.
By the thoughts that run through my mind.
By the memories from years ago that now seem like only yesterday.
My friends have always questioned my interest in you and to be honest so have I.
Because before I had never noticed your smile.
Now it weakens my knees.
I had never noticed how your eyes shine like gold.
Now they melt my heart.
I keep having to stop my thoughts in their tracks
 and remind myself that you love her.
Everyone sees you with her and I know you don't think of me.
I know you are oblivious to the fact that I can't help but stare at you.
You don't even know how I think about you every minute of every day.
That I can see our whole life together.
That I can see myself falling madly in love with you.
You don't know how I dream of holding you hand in mine
 and gazing into your eyes for hours.
You have no idea how you have caught me off guard.

See You Soon (Goodbyes)

Goodbyes are hard to say.
I guess that's why we keep avoiding them.
We haven't let it sink in that those goodbyes are lurking so close.
We laugh and we smile unaware of what is happening.
It's been coming for so long but we didn't think twice about it.
We can start to sense the goodbyes but we ignore it because we know how difficult they are.
As it starts to sink in the tears do also.
But since goodbye is so hard I'll just say, "See you soon."
Tears are a welcomed friend now as I hold you close knowing I have to let go.
Goodbye, I love you, I'll miss you.
I'll see you soon.

--For my sister. I love you KK--

The Pain I Feel

How do you explain to others a pain you can't come to grips with yourself?
How to you express the sheer agony of not knowing life before the nightmare?
When suddenly the nightmare is all you know.
How do you tell someone the feeling of wanting to go somewhere, anywhere,
to escape, to have just one moment without worry or pain?
How do you escape yourself?
How do you help someone understand that you've lost hope?
Lost faith.
How do you tell yourself that this is your life now, there's no waking up from the nightmare?
How do you stop the constant reminders of life with no pain.
At least not this pain.
How small those worries and pains seem now.
Was there really a time when that's all that worried me?
That was the most pain? The most fear? The biggest heartache?
How do you tell yourself to keep going when you can feel the worst has yet to come?
How do you keep going when your whole life... hope... faith has been shattered?
How do you explain to someone that they don't know how you feel?
They should never know how this pain feels.
How can you ever be the same again?
The answer is you can't.