The Love of Words

I discovered my Words as one first discovers love.

Innocent and passionate, seemingly eternal.

But, just as first love, it ended too soon,

As I'm haunted by the affair that changed my life.

I cling to the memory of how things once were,

Wishing to have it back.

Words have left me, breaking my heart,

Leaving before I could put up a fight.

So, sorry to disappoint.

I know you were expecting a poem,
But Words have left me.
I have lost the love of Words.

My Words, My Poems, My Pen, My Heart.

Time ticks by, but no words form under my pen.

They do not flow but are forced.

My poems have strayed from rhyme and rhythm. 

My words have lost their grace, their power.

My words once flowed easier than those of a woman in love.

My words once danced gracefully across the page.

My words have lost that grace, that ease.

My poems have waned away to nothing but babble.

My pen hangs mockingly above a blank page.

And my heart breaks.

Words & I

Words, where have you gone?
Why have you left me?
You were once my constant companion.
We used to work together in perfect harmony.
My pen would bring us together as we explored each other, as well as ourselves.
Now, you're gone.
You left me alone.
I search for you but you are hidden from me.
Where have you gone?
Why did you leave?
Please, come back to me.
Words.

Home

That warmth growing inside.
That relief, that satisfaction.
That feeling of going home.
The memories that flood over you.
That moment when your heart finds the piece it left behind.
The piece it left at home.
Like you can breathe again.
Like no time has passed.
 That peace that comes with seeing familiar sights.
There's a warmth growing inside me.
I can hardly wait, I'm going home.

Blank Page

A blank page.
It stares at me.
It reflects how I feel.
My mind: blank.
Inspiration: laking to say the least,
Seconds tick by, then hours.
Tick, tock.
Blank.
Tick, tock.
Nothing.
A blank page, covered in words.

Dear John,

Dear John,
I have to let you go.
So, move on.
But don't do it alone.
You  left.
That's all there is to say.
It was the best.
But dreams must fade away.
My first love.
It's said to not be forgotten.
The best of!
The best anyone's ever gotten.
But now it's done.
You know it's true.
You run.
It's what you do.
I won't forget.
I can promise you that.
And yet...
I'll never look back.

Yon pati nan ké mwen (A piece of my heart)

A piece of my heart is gone.
It wasn't painful to lose.
In fact, it was the opposite.
I was happy to give it away.
I would have given all of it if I could have.
But now, it's gone.
My heart beats but it isn't whole.
Not until I am back where I left it.
With every beat my heart whispers what it longs for.
For the smiles, for the joy, for the singing, the dancing.
For being there, loving the way we did.
I feel it crying out in my chest,
getting louder as I go further and further away.
Thump, thump, thump.
Haiti, Haiti, Haiti.
You have a piece of my heart.

Changed By Memories

Glimpses, flashes.
That's all I see.
A smile, a tear, a thought, a song.
I know I have changed, I don't doubt that.
But why?
When did it happen?
Was there one moment or has it been my whole life?
I can't remember, I don't understand.
Glimpses, flashes, moments, memories.
Now, suddenly, I am changed.

Scared. Scarred.

It isn't easy, but I will admit it.
I am scared.
I have been hurt before, I don't want to again.
I wont let myself feel that joy, knowing the pain that follows.
I don't let myself believe that it will last, I let that happen before.
Every time I see you, I see myself crying on my bathroom floor.
When you smile, I see mascara stains on my pillow.
Part of me wants to believe that this time will be different, but how can I be sure?
I tell myself that your sweet, but then again so was he.
I want to believe that you wont break my heart, but I can't take the risk.
This isn't easy for me but I'll admit it.
I'm scared of you.

You're acting like...

You're acting like:
You've never felt my touch, my kiss
You're calm as you handle this
You've never seen me laugh or cry
We've never had to say 'good-bye'
Like we've never said 'hello'
How could you let me go?
Like it isn't hard to walk away
When you told me you were here to stay
Can't you look me in the eye?
Can't you tell me why?
Then you said:
All I want is your touch, your kiss
That's why I can't handle this
You're the one who's seen me laugh and cry
That's why I can't say 'good-bye'
I just want to say 'hello'
I can't let you go
I wish I could just walk away
But I told you I was here to stay
Please don't look me in the eye
You can't see me cry

Don't but do

Don't say it.
But please do.
Don't meant it.
But tell no lies.
Let me love you.
If you want me to.
Don't let me go.
But don't cut any ties.
Don't let it end.
Don't let it go through.
Don't let me fall.
But I can't fly.
Don't say it.
Please do.
Let me fall.
I wont fly.

Look and see

Look into my eyes.
I ask, for once, that you actually see.
See my heart.
See what I put out there.
I put myself, quietly on display.
Loud has never been my thing.
You would see it if you looked.
You would see it if you saw.
Looking without seeing is a sickness.
It doesn't hurt those infected, just the ones they don't see.
Here's the cure:
Look into my eyes.
And for once, actually see.

The Pit I Made

It's so quiet.
It's been so lonely here.
In this pit where I lay, the one I've been digging for years.
I forgot about light long ago, I can't even remember it.
I wouldn't recogonize it if I saw it again.
I've been looking down and looking back so much.
I've forgotten how to look up to find light.
I've been pretending so long that I believe the lie I made.
Now, I sit alone in my filth, slowly dying without a sound.
Down in the depths of the pit I made.

Tell me lies

Please, tell me I'm wrong.
Say I've made a mistake.
Say that you would never do anything like that.
Tell me I've been misinformed.
I don't care if it's a lie.
I just can't handle this truth.
Just lie with me a bit longer.
Just let me pretend that we can move on from this.
I don't care if it's not true.
Just, please, tell me I'm wrong.

Wait.

I've never been patient, no one likes to wait.
But it seems like that's all I seem to do.
I wait.
for love, for salvation.
 Wait for my life to start, for pieces to fall into place.
 I just wait, and hope, and dream.
Waiting.
But like I said, I've never been patient.

The Storm Passing Through (Drip)

Raindrops fall, splash, and drip.
My heart feels the same.
I fell so hard for him, thinking he would catch me.
Then, I splashed, like crashing into reality.
The drops of my heartbreak hitting those close to me.
Now, here I am, the storm is over and I drip.
Slowly, painfully, praying that soon I will be lifted up again.
Drip, drip, drip.
The sound of it echoing through my empty life.
He lefted with the storm, he was just passing through.
Drip, drip, drip.
Please, I need the sunshine, someone to lift me up.
To lift me off the ground of my heartbreak.
The storm passed through long ago
Now where is my sunshine?
Where is my warmth?
Waiting, waiting, waiting.
Drip, drip, drip.

The Tale of a Knight

There once lived a man who did unimaginable things
He fought witches, wizards, and fairies with wings
He was knighted long ago when knights used to shine
He fought for maidenheads--I only wish they were mine
On a day came a dragon who snorted and spewed
All in all he was a quite the nasty brood
But our knight was scared not, for he had seen worse
He swore it'd meet its end before he was in a herse
There was a great battle, if you could call it that
Before anyone knew it the dragon fell flat
The kingdom rejoiced, for the dragon was slain
But on went our knight on his merry way

The Pages of My Notebook

The pages of my notebook are filled.
Not with poems or stories but with beginnings of them.
I flip through, page by page, counting;
One sentence, two, one, three, two, four, one...
On and on.
I used to fill my notebooks with magic, a princess, true love, romance.
Every page would be covered with words and ideas.
My notebooks used to be full of poetry and creativity.
Now, every page is full of nothing.
I used to pour my heart out on those pages,
but one must first know one's heart before pouring it.
The pages of my notebook used to inspire me with their emptiness like a blank canvas.
Now, they stare back at me, reflecting what I fell inside me.
The page of my notebook are empty.

The Life-Song

If life was a song mine would be a ballad.
Romantic, but sad with no sign of getting better.
If his life was a song it would be the most beautiful song ever heard.
Perfect. The kind that makes your heart beat a bit faster.
If her life was a song it would be a duet with his.
Not be chance but by him changing his melody to keep her listening.
Twisting and entwining with her melody with gorgeous harmony.
But if he would just listen to his true song he'd see how it is in perfect harmony with mine.
Why can't he hear it?
Her song will harmonize with anyones if it gets the chance.
But not ours, ours is special.
Our duet would but Beethoven to shame.
If our love was a song it would be beautiful.

A book

Is the world ever too much?
Do thoughts ever buzz in your head like bees?
Do people ever push you to your wit's end?
What do you do? Where do you go?
I grab a book.
I curl up in a quiet place with a cup of tea and I escape.
I escape to a different world.
Where other people have problems for them to deal with.
Where true love is more powerful than anything.
Where I can go on an adventure without leaving my bed.
Where I can experience emotional overload in the hands of a paperback.
Where small print text makes me cry like a baby.
The hero wins, love prevails.
Then two words shoot me violently back into my world.
"The End."

My Sanctuary

A sanctuary.
A quiet place.
Where wind is still, where trees grow yellow.
Where the silence speaks in ways that words can't.
Where it isn't a place as much as an escape.
An escape from the world, from yourself.
God above, I've wished to escape myself so many times.
To a sanctuary.
But sometimes there is no escape.
Sometimes, like me, you go to your sanctuary
 to find that its peace has long since left.
Where do you go? What do you do?
I found a sanctuary.
 It follows me wherever I go .
A safe haven, a quiet place.
Where silence speaks in ways that words can't.
In silence I here Him, my sanctuary.
Where wind is still, where trees gorw yellow.
An escape, a quiet place.
My Sanctuary.

Fall.

Fear.
Life is fear.
Shyness is the fear of embarrassment.
Loneliness is the fear of rejection.
Depression is the fear of death.
Suicide is the fear of life.
A broken heart is the fear of what could have been...
But the freedom of fear is magic.
If anything in this world was magical it would be that freedom.
That moment when you let everything go
And hurt floats away like a cloud of balloons.
That's the moment when you fall.
The moment when you fall harder and farther than ever before.
Yet you are floating, flying, through night bright with the magic of hope.
You fall, fall, fall...
You look into their eyes and see forever.
You fall, fall, fall...
You lips touch theirs and love feels endless.
Then a moment of doubt, of fear.
You fall.
Harder and farther than you ever have before.
The lights fly by, as do the memories as you grasp for something, anything,
Praying, "Please don't let it end."
You fall.
You crash.
You burn.
You cry.
You hate.
You wish.
You remember.
The love, the joy, the hope, the magic...
Most of all you remember the end.
And you fall again.