Tuesday, March 18, 2014

You Don't Know Pain

Frozen in place, the memories come back in flashes.
Fear. Hate. Blame. Loss. Sob. Fake. Empty. Pain. Voices. Lies.
Hit. Hate. Hell.
Thoughts. Fear. Coward.
Stop! Stop! Stop!
Please.
Razor? Pill? Knife? Jump?
Stop it!
End it!
Stop it!
End it!
Stop!
Die!
Stop!
Kill!
Crying. Begging. Searching.
Lost.
Empty. Dying. Fear. Hate. Pain. Hell.
End it?
End it!
End it.
End it!
Can't.
Coward.
Hate. Sob. Hit. Think. Fear. Hide. Fake. Empty. Pain. Masking.
God!
Beg. Cry. Hit. Blame.
God?
Voices. Lies.
Truth?
Hit. Hate. Hell.
Pain.
Razor?
Pain.
Pill?
Pain.
Knife?
Pain.
Jump?
Why?
Blame. Hate. Loss. Sob. Dying.
Hope?
Gone.
Pain?
Real.
Who?
Nothing.
Me?
No one.
Voices. Lies?
Hate. Hate. Hate.
Coward! End it! End it! End it!
Can't?
No.
Peace?
Want.
End it!
Sob. Hit. Hate. Hell.
End it!
Pain. Poison. Please!
Deliverance? Deliverance?
Sob. Beg. Pain.
God!
End this.
Back to now and I look you in your eyes.

I don't know pain?

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